slowly conquering the world, one country at a time
the weary cycle
My first real Vietnamese meal since I left Saigon- pho tai and bun cha gio from Saigon Feast in Newcastle, Australia.
The more I travel, the less I feel like I’ve seen and the more I feel I need to do. It’s undeniable- this travel bug, the need to push yourself , the uncomfortable feeling of being grounded or stationary, the more uncomfortable feeling of being somewhere new and the thrill of conquering this.
Equally though, is the Fear. This Fear comes in many forms but every single traveller has it. There’s the Fear of going ‘home’ and finding work, a home. There’s the Fear of outgrowing the life you have for yourself halfway across the globe, or that it will have outgrown you. There’s the Fear that you’re running out of time, that you’re not using your time, that maybe the experience isn’t worth it and maybe home is a better option.
But then there’s also the Fear of never leaving- when you find a place where you could work, make a home, meet people who are growing with and around you, and are constantly pushing yourself. When you find that place, that’s when the real Fear sets in. The uncertainty, the ‘this could be the rest of my life’ and the ‘but I have so much waiting for me’ and ‘what is really holding me back?’
For me so far, these fears are everywhere. You just have to push through them, until you find clarity. I guess there is one main thing I’ve learned so far- losing yourself isn’t all that bad, and finding yourself is severely overrated. And that home is a state of mind.